Originally posted 08/10/2010
I thought I’d share this moment of insanity just to show how surreal the life of a professional ghost hunter is.
Earlier this year I had a night out that had to take the biscuit as being the most surreal night out ever. The biscuit, incidentally, being teapot shaped and pink, with shiny tasty things on it. I have wondered since exactly what sort of biscuit it was…
I only wish I’d drunk more, because then I could either forget things, or things may have made more sense. Except for the fish. I can’t see the fish ever making sense. I first wondered if the pirate smelt of fish as he thought it added something to his costume. Then I wondered if it was something to do with the beard and whatever he had been up to earlier in the day, and decided that was a thought best suppressed. I tried really hard not to react to the smell whilst he was talking to me, but it was difficult to ignore.
I was kind of relieved when he took two small salted sardines impaled on a wooden kebab stick out of his pocket. That is not a euphemism. At least they disguised the smell of the ripe cambozola he had down his trousers. This is also not a euphemism. We at least had the sense to say no when he offered to share the cheese.
Why me? Why was I targeted by a group of pirates who also do Viking and troll (WTF?!) re-enactment, collect antique weapons, and hide various smelly food stuffs about their persons? I suspect my costume may have had something to do with it, which was why they wanted photos of me and also asked me to join their burlesque troupe as a “naughty pirate.”
Even though they have my details they haven’t been in touch. I wonder, now, what other delights I have missed out on since?
Remember: keep your equipment dry, and your coffee strong.
Ghost Finder General
P.S. If you’re one of the pirates reading this, do please get in touch! If nothing else, I’d like to see how the photos turned out.